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I want to make a Taj MahaI
for my Mumtaz..
teII me.. how much have I made
about four bricks..
guess it's going to take a whiIe
How much have you made?
I mean
We can work together..
in partnership, what do you say?
Get out.. Iet me work
come on.. teII me.. pIease
Iet me work
carefuI, vava be carefuI
you tend to panic don't panic..Ok..
Iet's start with ChautaIa pick the goggIes!
good!
now aunty..
very good!
now move on to the next
what is it?
the same mistake fourtimes?!
I just can't handIe ''beauty''
everything eIse is fine
it's very simpIe bro..
you must spent some time with them,
reaIIy?
what?
how much have I made?
what do you want to buiId?
White house
do you see?
yes brother I do, I do
he has got drive, this one
he's a Iion, a Iion indeed
Guy has got guts indeed
but what have you done so far?
I can do anything!
you teII me WHAT?
ShukIaji..
ShukIaji..you are avoiding me!
AmoI, I have aIready toId you.. No!
..but I am just asking for a smaII favour!
And.. I am wiIIing to pay for it !
Give me one of your guys!
I have toId you once and for aII no means NO
this is your probIem shukhIaji
there are so many taIented gems here
each betterthan the other
but you treat them Iike coaI
pIease shukIaji,
give me one of your boys
I wiII set DeIhi on fire
AmoI, I know each of my boys very weII
think how many've been destroyed trying to make that fire
this's the probIem
there is a saying in my aunt's viIIage
'Don't poIish a diamond so much
that it begins to Iook Iike gIass'
Means..?
I'II teII you..move
Ok..Iook here
ShukIaji..
I don't want to do aII this
What? You don't want to do what ?
this pick pocketing..steaIing..
Ok..
then what wiII you do?
Anything
Anything?
Chaddaji, I wiII work with compIete honesty
just try me once
No, my friend
this work is beyond your capabiIity
Chaddaji, just give me one chance
Chaddaji, I wiII prove I can do it
give me one chance
Son, this is not how we work here
we require the gift of the gab..
and here you are speaking from the heart..
(prayer) divine mother.. shower prosperity
bIess me..my mother
show your grace
HaIIo..True reaI estate.. you need an apartment?
are you a bacheIor or a famiIy?
and your budget?
ya ya, a smaII budget..? no probIem
you'II definiteIy get one
ok aIright, you just come over here
the keys, Chaddaji! a cIient is coming
very good, amazing! here you go
sit
What wiII you have?
Tea? Coffee? or a coId drink?
ChautaIa, get two gIasses of dessert
Sir, you've just had tea, you'II catch coId
no, not for me,
it's forthe guests
No, no, Sir!
go on, get going - ''forthese?''
okay so..
from here to there,
from there to here and
from here to there again..
very skiIIfuI!
an artist,
very good..very good!
If I wasn't a cop
I'd be doing the same
What are you saying, Sir?
yes, indeed!
Now..that wouId have been reaI fun!
and who wouId be there to save you then?
give
you've been drinking coId tea? are you ok?
Where were you aII night?
why, what happened?
Is it the time to come home..
3 o'cIock in the night?
'knock knock knock'
wrecking someone's sIeep
have you gone mad?
you taIk Iike there's been a disaster
I'd been waiting foryou so Iong
so what's the probIem? teII me now
ok, Iisten
I went to Chaddha
the property agent?
yes.. - went to him
a cIient came,
beautifuI!!!
innocent..no..innocent Iike
She got down from the auto,
WiII you be showing me the apartment?
yes..er..um
are you married?
yes
just got married before coming here
no, no..
I mean,
it is easy for peopIe
with a famiIy to get an apartment
why don't you show me the pIace first?
ok..1 minute..
Where are you Iiving now?
Once I Iike the apartment
I wiII give you aII my detaiIs
got it ??
no, its just that.. one needs proof, you know..
shaII we see the pIace? - yeah sure
ok, pIease come
you are very joIIy indeed!
come
so this is the haII
yes, now, this is aII..eh, ar..
I wiII show you the kitchen now
Iooking at the rooms
she asks,
what is speciaI about them
this is the kitchen
its pretty smaII
this is smaII?
nice
brother, she Iooked around aII the rooms
i kept Iooking at her
I couIdn't understand anything
i was saying one thing and doing something eIse.. you know
what? Area
Area?
eight paces..four paces..
eight paces.. - what are you doing?
Area?
you don't know the area?
Area? means Jungpura?
Let it be
What's your name?
10,000 per month..
er.. Satbir
..and then..
she Ieft..
I couIdn't get her address or phone number
why don't you resoIve your confusion first
what confusion?
you want a job or a girI?
I want a job first
then I want a girI, and that too this girI
you can't even take care of yourseIf
and you want to get married!
can't take care of myseIf??
I've been taking care of you
I wash aII your cIothes, your underwears
cook foryou
wait foryou aII night
and I cannot take care???
I want to get settIed
and you! oh so hi-fi
Yes, I am. I am hi - fi
yes, just now you wont find your underwear
and come crying..go on..find it yourseIf
get Iost..!
go on, wash this gIass
teII your 'giIrfriend'
Sir..Sir!!
Oh, you are Iooking wonderfuI
my samosa!
move back a IittIe
Iet me take a Iook, exceIIent..exceIIent!
now whirI around, round and round
sway yourwaist..with gusto!
round and round..ha ha
ShukIaji
how's business?
going weII
and you?
fine
AmoI's been frequenting your joint these days
he wishes to buy..
Take care
..that nobody gets soId from yourfamiIy
Chauhan sir
we are not for saIe
buyers Iike these..so many have come and gone
You don't worry
good
that's how it ought to be
the Iine shouIdn't be crossed
we have our constraints too
Brother
I'm reaIIy heartbroken seeing you do this work
I can aIso do the kind of work
that you're doing
what's the difference between you and me now?
who are you trying to reason with?
these days,
he's possessed by ideas of Iove and honesty
Iook,
I'm happy doing what I'm doing
But we are not happy
And how can you be happy?
with petty thievery?.. eh?
Lions are born to hunt
but it isn't yourfauIt
If Iions start feeding on Ieftovers,
they'II become jackaIs
aIIow me
Join me, togetherwe can set DeIhi on fire
I wiII provide you a pIatform foryourtaIent
wake up..
recognize the taIent within you
which is struggIing to touch the skies
struggIing to shine Iike the stars
Now I wiII not speak more
In our viIIage, there is a saying
'the greaterthe man..
..the Iesser he speaks'
and
when you feeI Iike doing something big,
just drop by
i am aIways there foryou..
..waiting
he doesn't know himseIf.. nor his grandma's address
.. and sets out to conquerthe worId
so what's wrong in what he said?
everything
this man is wrong
this business is wrong,
you're aII wrong, you know
oh reaIIy !!
we are aII wrong???
we'II show you who we are..
HaIIo Savitri
I'II reach office and caII you
what's this UncIe?
think you are stiII young?!
hey.. hey, my bag...my bag
hey, girI, heyyyy..
hey, my bag, my bag
brother..give it back..pIease
15..16..17..18..19..20
you've won me over son!
Honesty is worth something too sir
weII,
money shouIdn't get mixed up with honesty
come, come, come, my Lion, come
hey, get me some water
not water! give him some sherbet
where have you set up your joint, AmoI.
the cIimb has taken aII the steam out of me
oh, when it comes to that, I couId even stay at the Taj
but there is a saying in my father-in-Iaw's mother-in-Iaw's viIIage,
that eating,
bathing
and shitting ought to be done in the open
what a wonderfuI saying!
now, Iet's taIk some business
This party is worth 250 crores
we'II get 50 crores overthe phone itseIf
thats aII ok but what wiII be my cut?
take 1 Iakh
ok..take 2 Iakhs
not Iess than 10
Done!
done! take 10 Iakhs!
ok then
I'II start pIanning from today
I'II Ieave now
hey Moosa, we'II meet up
Now, whats wrong with you?
Brother, I don't Iike it... the way
you squander away your money and your Iife
Understand, just understand..
one has to do these things
Don't we have to estabIish ourseIves in DeIhi?
think about that
Hey! he's taken my goggIes
fIicked them, right from under our noses
ohh..I Iove this boyy!
Where were you?
Some important work had come up
quite a bit of important work these days eh!
I want to give up petty crime
meaning..? if satbir is a samosa
what'II you be? a dancing dosa?
we'II kidnap someone
The richerthe party, biggerthe ransom
Are you mad?
What tangIes are you getting into?
do you reaIize what'II happen when ShukIaji Iearns of this?
There's no need to teII ShukIaji
He'II not Iet anyone grow big
As if he won't come to know
i don't care you think I'm scared of him?
It is you who's scared
we are not scared
Just that we respect him
see munna
Let's do it together
ForAmoI?!!
No, Munna
for us
1..2..3. At the count of three she wiII be right in front of me
1..2..3...
what are you doing here, scoundreI
just get Iost!
where's her purse?
What's the matter, Madam?
This gate wiII not open without a token
Take out yourtoken first
Iook here,
My purse has just been stoIen
The token was in it
then you wiII have to pay the fine
Where did you board the train from?
Rajiv Chowk
that amounts to 475 rupees. Out with it.
what do you mean?!
I've just toId you that my purse has been stoIen!
If the token was in it, so was the money!
what have I got to do with that?
I'm bound by my duty too
Iook here, every day I traveI this way daiIy
You can take the fine tomorrow
Everyone comes here daiIy. I'm not..
Madam,
how are you?
do you recognise me, at that apartment..
yeah..
What's the matter?
Just see! my purse has just been stoIen
..and he insists on showing me his duty
So what! this is my job
Omkarbhai, Iisten to me,
there are so many thieves and pickpockets Ioitering about here
I spotted one just now,
one with curIy hair .. no, i mean with a beard and aII..
So what, I am not a cop, to run after pickpockets
That's true, but these things happpen..
Don't you see she is from a good famiIy
So what? She shouId know how to taIk to peopIe..
don't worry, I know herweII.
pIease try and understand
I've known her since Iong
you know her - yes of course!
weII, then, you make amends - I wiII, I wiII see to it
Come, come
thank you so much.
PIease don't say that
heyyy! hop on, I'II drop you
come on
...ohh
We'II take another auto
pIease..
Punjabi Bagh
Hey Satbir, who's she???
you couId onIy find my friends purse to steaI?
which purse, Satbir?
Look, I've got to get back to work, don't make me mad!
oh reaIIy
and between you and yourfriend my time's not getting wasted?
Don't make me mad now. Out with the purse
this is not good I'II report to ShukIaji
aIright then, you won't do your brother such a smaII favor huh
I'II do it for my brother
Ok I'II do it for my brother's friend too
nina ji, on my way!
pIease..teII me
where did you find it?
Nina ji, I've been in this city fortwenty years now
I know aII kinds of peopIe
check your purse
is everything there?
aII good?
Everything is as it was
you..you're amazing
Satbir ji
But teII me,
where did you find this purse ?
You must know those peopIe, don't you?
no, no
teII me..pIease
teII me the truth..
you do know them, don't you?
no, no...i mean..
maybe one ortwo, who..err
you know
I..
I've aIways wanted to meet members of a gang,
i mean..I just want to see
how they pick pockets
They are so taIented, isn't it?
anyways,
you've done so much for me,
Thank you so much forthat
excuse me..biII pIease?
ah no, weII..I can try
No, it's ok
you've aIready done so much for me. I can treat you to a coffee at Ieast..
No, no, no, no, what's aII this
you are my guest. I'II pay
Here. keep the tip
Ok, Nina ji
you want to see pickpockets at work
so..Iet me see..
I'II try..
I'II try, but...
when..
are you serious?
Hmmm
hey, Ronnie
what is aII this?
what have you done here? You are cIeaning up too, are you feeIing aIright?
It's nothing, just expecting guests.
in this junkyard? you are expecting guests?!
my hoteI Iooks Iike a junkyard to you?
It doesn't Iook Iike a hoteI atIeast
ok, teII me what's up?
paI, he turned out to be a very big businessman
He is worth miIIions!
Don't get into anything siIIy
No, I won't
Satbir is a very good friend of his
They meet daiIy, everyday
and he is a reaI miser
even more than our vava
What are you saying! - Yeah,
he pees in the open ratherthan pay a rupee at the pubIic toiIet
a IittIe further son, feet wiII get wet
wiII have to cut it
Come and pay yourfine
son..
sonny!
Iisten..
I say Iet's settIe it between the two of us
TeII the boss - Why bother him?
is he in a good mood?
He's a good man, he may agree
Come on, Iet's go
come, now
Hey, there, stop
off you go,
too Iate now
son..
I'm teIIing you even now, Iet's settIe it between us
the boss wiII unnecessariIy fine me a big sum
now there's no way i wont charge you
Where is the officer ?
You just get in
give me a kiIIer.. give me a kiIIer..give me a kiIIer!
you were begging on the streets of DeIhi
'he s a hero, he has fire in his eyes!''
What do you see in my eyes? Ash?
he came, kidnapped and vanished what did you do?
moosaaa!
once, twice, thrice..
the universe is conspiring to make fooIs of us everytime!
but this time he wiII not get far
its a reaI heavyweight that he's picked up!
ShaII I take up the gun?
say the word and I'II take it up
yeah?
now I see..
yes, now there is fire in your eyes..
Sethji
have you decided?
hm.. take the fueI money, vehicIe rent and settIe the matter
just that, Sethji?
I'm a poor man, son
What are you saying, Sethji?
you have such a fIourishing business in DeIhi
You caII yourseIf poor!
You are mistaken, my chiId
I deaI in stones
tiny..round..shiny! those kind, right?
make the caII
What?
CaII Aunty
Why do that?
She may be caIIing any moment
but she doesn't bother with money matters
caII your brother
don't caII him
Why? - I'II teII you why?
He'II caII the poIice
so who the heck shouId I deaI with?
with me
ok, caII forthe cash
''oh, gatekeepers, teII Iord krishna.. There, that's her
that poor sudhama is at his door..''
Savitri
HaIIo
Radhey, Radhey
yeah sure, wear it, Iooks very good on you
Hey! cut the crap
Savitri, I am going to china on a business trip
I'II caII you when I return in a weeks time
Radhey, Radhey
That's it.. done
get off..
wow.. what a Iife!
mobiIe..off
work..off
..onIy rest
What 's there to eat?
hi, come.. come.. come
Hi, Satbir
hope I'm not Iate
no.. no..no
where do we have to go? I'm so excited, Iet's go
we don't have to go anywhere it wiII aII happen here
here..? in the coffeeshop?
No, not in the coffeshop, overthere
Iook, can you see the short guy nearthe pan shop
him.. he's so smaII
he Iooks smaII, but he is smart twice over
now, he wiII eat paan and be ready with it in his mouth
and Iook overthere
the feIIow with the beard..
they are now waiting for a prey..
Iook there, somene's come
now, watch
you!!! you have ruined my cIothes - sorry sir..
sorry
your one EngIish word - Sorry
wiII it cIean my cIothes?
We aIso eat paan
but before spitting we Iook around
I did not see you, you came suddenIy
I came suddenIy??
heard what he is saying?!
Am I to announce IoudIy
move away, i'm coming, move away, I'm coming?
I've aIready said, Sorry!
are you doing him a favour saying sorry?
You peopIe have painted DeIhi red with your spitting
and 'i came suddenIy'?!!
hands off!
Iook, brother, don't mind my saying so
but get him to wash your cIothes
that wiII teach these scoundreIs a Iesson
you're absoIuteIy right
when you wash the cIothes
then you wiII reaIize the consequences of spitting on someone
come, take eIder brothers' cIothes
remove your cIothes, eIder brother
remove my cIothes here?
No, in the bathroom there
Go on, wash them quick
they are gone, Satbir
they wiII come back
we'II wait
eIder brother, my neck is getting..
wash quickIy, then you wiII know
just wasting this gentIeman's time
But I've agreed to wash them
Don't remove your pants here it wiII Iook odd if someone comes
Go on in and give the cIothes to him he wiII wash them
Give this bag to me, I'II keep it..i mean
I wiII hoId it, how wiII you take it inside, eIse where wiII you keep it here
You are an honest gentIeman, why shouId I worry?
Today you wiII scrub my cIothes
Give them quick pIease
Let me get them off
Now, you wiII remember who you had to deaI with
yeah- today you wiII know who you had to deaI with
I wiII wash them just now
scrub them weII, go on
scrub them and wash them weII..
have you Iost your voice..?
is it washed yet..
hey there
is it washed yet?
I'm asking, is it washed yet?
where is he?
this is so exciting
Do you know, I'm seeing aII this forthe first time!
The poor guy's reaIIy screwed
Look there, do you see that?
''You become obIivious.''
''Don't every faII in Iove.''
''You become obIivious.''
''Don't every faII in Iove.''
''Eyes are Iocked.''
''The heart pines a IittIe.''
''Eyes are Iocked.''
''The heart pines a IittIe.''
''Love is my obsession.''
''The path of Iove is hard.''
''I want to fIy with the beauty.''
''Love is overpowering.''
''Kites faII down afterfIying high.''
''Nothing Iasts Iong.''
''O Lord, don't faII in Iove.''
Satbir
with you, the whoIe day just zipped by
come on
thanks a Iot, reaIIy
Wow
Sonny, wonderfuI!
You turned out to be a bigger businessman than me
unit, ten, hundred, thousand..Iakh..??
One and a haIf Iakhs for a pastry?
I wiII not have any of these
go on, I wiII give you a 20'/' discount
Then I won't have it at aII
Don't eat then. as you wish..
We'II cIose the kitchen today then
I'II give you today's expenses. tomorrow i wont even give you that
I'm done. It's very spicy
Look
DeIhi poIice wiII soon be on yourtraiI
They wiII reaIIy beat me up, no?
yeah
Purushottamji, don't scare me Iike this
I'm not....I'm trying to reason with you
Ronnie! Ok, goodnight
Here's a hot cup of tea, Satbir
Don't worry so much about work
Just put your heart in it
Good times come to everyone
I'm not worried about work
I have a probIem with this area
Everything's fine here What's wrong with this area
what's fine?
There is onIy one schooI here and that too onIy upto the 12th grade
ChiIdren find it so difficuIt to attend coIIege, do you know?
Have you seen these houses? So tiny
aII huddIed up. a coupIe can't have a decent romantic conversation here
A famiIy needs more space you know..open space..
Nina may say yes to marriage any day, then?
What are you saying? Sister-in-Iaw has agreed?
She may say yes any time now, that is the probIem
Any time now ?
Iike breaking news on TV
Forthe first time on TV
an expose' on how the business of thieving operates!
See next week, eight o'cIock in the evening!
What happens in a government office?
You are trained before you get a job.
It is Iikewise in the worId of crime too
Candidates are seIected, trained and tested
and then they are inducted into the gang
There are many gangs Iike that.. who want to make it big
There is one Inspector, Chauhansaab.
He beIieves aII pickpockets are artists
If some pickpocket is returning empty-handed,
he even gives them money from his own pocket
saying, you peopIe are artists and artists shouId not go hungry!
He is a cIose friend of ShukIaji's,
meaning, of course, the poIice is hand-in-gIove,
if the poIice does not give support, who can do it ..
meaning, you can waIk into the poIice station as if you were going home
One such gang is ShukIaji's
ShukIaji has raised the pickpockets as his own chiIdren.
He has taught each pickpocket to steaI, to read and write
so that they'II never get a raw deaI in this worId to read and write
WeII done
good job
exceIIent
you are very creative
Thank you, Sir
Keep it up!
Thank You!
CongratuIations, Nina
thank you Aditi,
Now just watch this show wiII change your Iife!
Aditi
I'd toId you that Satbir's face shouIdn't be seen
Come on
we needed someone
who couId put everything together,
and who couId do it betterthan Satbir
Brother
it's time for good morning and you are stiII in bed!
Wake up..
ShukIaji has been exposed
Satbir is on TV
the entire gang, every detaiI
Hey, Moosa
am I dreaming?!
No, no, you are not..
sIap me..Moosa
here..
Hey, what is it?
Aren't you ashamed?
at Ieast a 'weIcome drink' is due
every business has its ethics!
What is that?
'Ethics' means
'principIes'
weII then, I'II get you one next time
next time it seems!
Here they are..
they are here, your guests have reached
Save me, save me, Sethji
DeIhi PoIice!
What did you bring with you?
what wiII you take with you? aII that remains wiII be dust
go on, open!
Hey sister, Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Iisten..
oh..
A big TV star has come to my hoteI!
It's the good fortune of my hoteI
What wiII you have? Tea? Coffee? CoId drink?
Sethji?
You?
HaIIo
partner in crime, right?
meaning?
Meaning, sometimes in a samosa sometimes in a burqa
what are you taIking about?
Now don't act innocent, you know everything
huh?
What has happened to Sethji here?
What is this?
It's nothing..
the hoteI just started...
he is the first customer, he is mad with excitement, nothing eIse
But why is he aII tied up?
Don't bother about aII that
why did you have to babbIe on teIevision?
Did I do it deIiberateIy?
WiII I trap you.. deIiberateIy?
forget that, wiII I do this to myseIf
I've been running heIter-skeIter since morning,
I have come here secretIy, wearing this..
that innocent girI..
who? - Meaning, innocent-Iike..
that apartment girI..
I toId her everything
offering it to her on a pIatter
it feIt Iike
she was recording it in her heart..
she was recording it aII..on camera
on tv shukhIaji..I saw it aII
Iive..
'Our' Satbir..
feIt Iike taking the gun and bIasting the tv
our own kid..
I couIdn't bearto see it!
I ran overto share the tragedy that has befaIIen us
After aII ShukIaji, when fire breaks out at the neighbours'
AmoI!
The base of this business is trust
ok..
and Satbir has broken that trust
Go..
get him..
ShukIaji
we searched high and Iow..but no trace of him
there is a saying in my viIIage:
'sister of a witch is aIso a witch'
Meaning?
Ronnie!
ShukIaji, do you stiII thinkyou shouId trust your boys
seriousIy..do you??
AIIow me
Panditji..
Yes..
go get the bride and groom
right away
..and take the accompIice aIong..
come on..
You want to become a king in a day, is it?
nothing Iike that
ok, even if I reIease him
AmoI wiII pick him up
He is after him Iike a sniffer dog..
here he is safe at Ieast.. - forget it..
what are you teIIing me..forget it
oh Ronnie..
AmoI
untie him..
get up, get up
here we are..
Look, satbir..
our own Satbir..
I Iiked being with her
I wanted herto keep on taIking
so..I kept on answering and she kept on asking
Satbir
this is the most beautifuI day of my Iife
because you showed me everything that I aIways wanted to see
come on Nina ji
TruIy, I wiII neverforget this day
you ruined our entire business..forthat...girI?
this is the Iimit, can't even show my face anywhere
Just escaped by the grace of Lord BajrangbaIi, eIse..
ShukIaji
Iet us just think..
..that Satbir has not done any of this deIiberateIy
but the probIem is
that everyone has seen it on tv
AmoI..
its not necessary that everything you see is true..
yes son..
It isn't necessary
that everything you see..is true
ShukIaji,
onIy the traiIer is out now
When the actuaI programme starts next week..
AmoI, don't worry about next week right now
oh..I am not worrying at aII..
I have just come to share the community's grief..
as forthe rest..you are eIderto us
do whateveryou feeI is right
I'II take my Ieave then..
We'II sit and watch the programme together
AII of us together!
move it hippo,
you want to give an interview orwhat?
ok see you..
ShukIaji..
shukhIa ji you don't worry
I'II set everything right
what wiII you set right?
anyway aII of this wiII not affect you
because you have aIready Ieft the foId
my worry is for aII of them
ShukIa ji, you have fed me, cIothed me, brought me up
I have grown up pIaying with aII of them
WiII I do this against aII of you?
I made a mistake
I was trapped
I don't understand what's happening with me..
but if you feeI you are trapped because of me..
then.. aIright..
I have 7 days
I'II do whatever it takes.. whatever..
to make sure this programme does not appear on tv, Ok?
Sethji!
Where were you?
GuIping air
Hey Sethji, you got hungry and guIped the sweets eh?
The other day you were acting Iike a hero!
ok that'II be 3 Iakhs
What? 3 Iakhs?
Yes, forthe sweets
Here my Iife is at stake and you are bothered about the sweets!
what sweet costs 3 Iakhs?
It costed 1 Iakh earIier
sure, pIus 2 for steaIing
Theft?
What theft?
Then have I stoIen it? - I haven't stoIen anything
You are a thief anyway you must have stoIen it
when couId I have stoIen it?
I haven't done any steaIing, must've been you
What's that? huh?
WeII I thought..you'd have eaten it..
When it wasn't there, I am a thief
Now that it's found, I'm not a thief!
Got a chance and made me a thief !
How did I make you a thief? I thought you'd eaten it!
You are a thief, a superthief!
When it's not there, I'm a thief
and when it's found, I'm not
when it's not there, I'm a thief
and when it's found, I'm not a thief
First of aII, you must get hoId of the videotapes
and you know how to do that
''Demon's den is destroyed. -Praise the Lord.''
''Gong has been sounded. -Praise the Lord.''
''Demon's den is destroyed.''
''There is justice aII around.''
''Praise the Lord.''
''FirefIies gIow at night.''
munna..vava..saw that? - ''There is justice aII around.''
tomorrow watch each person.
where do they come from, how do they Ieave- everything
''Praise the Lord.''
''Drink to your heaIth.''
''Praise the Lord.''
if this gets done, then the path ahead wiII be easy
''Praise the Lord.''
Praise..
''Fox is Iamb's skin.'' -Praise..
''Don't judge a book by its cover.''
''Both saints and thugs have united.''
''Graduates are Iike parrots.''
''Short cut is the new mantra.''
Are you mad? what are you doing? Don't you see the vehicIe behind?
Have you gone bIind? We were on the bike behind, we'd have faIIen
Look, friends,
Iook, I wouId've died
Munna, this is the same thing
UncIe, there is a puncture repair shop ahead
this is their reguIar pIoy to get business, but we wiII fix this, open the boot
we won't caII them
No, we'II not caII them - Take it to the right side
UncIe, you just sit back and reIax
get the spanner, you cIown!
Sir!
Yes?
can you teII me this address. Lane no. 26
Lane no. 26? Look, I am not an educated man, I can't read orwrite
Why don't you ask this gentIeman? he is much better quaIified than me
Sir! We have been seeking ourway,
towing the bridegroom party for overtwo hours now
Lane No. 26
nearthe roundabout
ok 1 minute
You see this buiIding there's a park right behind it
This address ought to be somewhere there
Is there a roundabout too?
Yeah, may be, yes.
Some fountains?
some tents forthe marriage
Ok, guess we'II have to take a u-turn to get there
What happened?
Nothing
the waIIet was sIipping out
What? Why are you shooting me now?
UncIe??
What is it, Son? what happened?
I've been Iooking for you..where were you?
Look, he is the boy, It is his marriage. What happened, son?
CongratuIations!
Thank you, thank you
what shouId I do uncIe? I need to pee badIy
go on, go on, do it, do it
Hey, where are you going?
You come right back
He is Tunnu. in the whoIe of Ghaziabad
no one makes a better wedding video than him
UncIe, don't embarrass me..
carry on, carry on..
HaIIo, Aunt
she is the bridegroom's mother
Namaste
He has given us the proper directions..
we've been roaming around for 2 hours now
PIease don't mention it - thank you sooo much!
It's reaIIy aIright.. seriousIy
So, ok, then,
have food with us,
No, No, it's aIright.
You won't? oh! onIy at your own house? and not at ours?
No, its, not Iike that, just that I'm getting Iate
Oh weII, don't eat with us.
don't! - Oh, pIease don't take offense. Listen to me, Iisten..
just asked him to have food with us, he says no even to that
Hey,
what are you doing?
meaning?
Step out!
Why shouId we step out?
It's my car. You come out
Excuse me!
Don't fooI around. Come out!
what nonsense!
from where do such peopIe spring up?
Have you downed a peg so earIy in the morning?
It's getting Iate,
Who are you? What are you taIking about?
do you want a Iift? Where do you want to go?
you wiII give me a Iift in my own car?
get out!
Hey,
what's happening here? whats the ruckus?
Look Madam,
myseIf s. k. Kapoor
Whose Kapoor?
I am Surendra Kapoor
Excuse me, I'm s.k.kapoor
License?
here
Here
VehicIe no.?
DL
DL 3C 1764
Get the papers!
I'II get them right away
You take a Iook
get in
Madam what are you doing
Get in, quick
Madam, pIease mind your Ianguage
Look at the personaIity before you open your mouth
You don't know who I am! The food minister is a distant uncIe of mine
Who are you taIking to? show some respect
Get going ! get going! hoId this one, put him in
I wiII report this to the peopIe at the top IeveI
Satbir, here he comes!
HaIIo!
Come here, you
How did this auto come in?
What are you doing here?
I see you have been foIIowing me since morning
Who are you?
You are not going to Iisten i see!
I'II have to use other ways to make you understand!
ShaII I expIain?
ShaII I?
ShouId I use otherways?
ShouId I?
You are on tv!...
vava!
Sir, this is a reaIity show and you're the hero of today's show
CongratuIations, Sir!
HaIIo Sir,
This is ourteam sorry to have inconvenienced you
we offeryou our heartfeIt apoIogies but Sir, today ourtask was
to fooI someone who'd not be easiIy fooIed
And here is yourwaIIet, Iicense, and a gift from us
And here are your car keys
Sorry Sir
CongratuIations, Sir!
Sorry, Sir, Sorry.. Sorry
get some waterfor him
No, No
not necessary
You guys nearIy took the breath out of me!
Just tried to make a good effort!
Is it truIy a reaIity? - yes sir
If yes, then it wiII certainIy be a hit show
who are you making it for?
Forwhom, meaning..
we are just making it for ourseIves now, once some channeI Iikes it then..
Iiked it
what?
quite Iiked it
who?
I Iiked It
Oh, that doesn't matter The common man usuaIIy Iikes it,
but a channeI has to Iike it, a channeI
the channeI has Iiked it too
what do you mean?
I am the owner of this channeI..
What! You?
Why are you staring?
So, teII me..
hey! just a minute.. I have seen you somewhere..
We have been together aII morning, after aII..
No no..
I've seen you somewhere eIse
ah..I do appear on tv quite often..
ohh, that expIains it..
I thought I'd seen you somewhere
Okay, and what's the name of your program?
Chor Chor Super Chor..the reaI artist
Wow! Interesting name...
very catchy, isn't it?
TeII me in detaiI
Sir,
you'd have seen the metro station,
bus, park, bazaar..
Satbir, why don't we show sirthe dvd?
That's wonderfuI. Show me
vava
pIay this..
what do you need? The remote? Take this..
Catchy, very catchy, mind bIowing..
weIcome back to Chor chorSuper Chor, the reaI artist
This is a speciaI episode
and we give you 100'/' guarantee of totaI entertainment
Think who wiII be the startoday?
Like, for some it is Shahrukh khanand for some it is SaIman
It's her. muIti-taIented, you know
Naughty,
very naughty, eh?
if our artist vava eats six paansin one go, what wiII happen..?
here goes the first, the second, third, fourth, fifth
and as the sixth is being chewed, ..
this angIe has not worked out so weII
had it been from the other side It'd have been better
But, you saIvaged it with your acting
Is it? thanks paI
Stop it
What happened, Sir?
This is my programme
It is to be teIecast next week
The promos are aIso on air
What are you saying, Sir?
This is our program ewe have done the shoot
The same Iocation. The same actors.
Who is denying that !
the artists are right in front of you
We have chosen the Iocation, we have done the shooting
I know it . I know it aII.
Sir, 1 minute
Just watch some more You are probabIy confused
Further? What's there to see?
Sir, you just see it once
Sir, it is ahead, aII the fun is ahead. Just watch
Yes, Sir, it feeIs Iike that's aII there is but there's more
pIay?
Yeah, yeah pIay it
you two !
Don't be startIed,
this is a reaIity show and you are the hero of this episode
and at this moment, you are on tv
Yes, today the whoIe nation wiII see you
What? me, a hero?
Yes, and here's your bag
Sir, this is a gift from us to you
and Sir, ''you thief, me soIdier ''
What? - Dvd sir. dvd of the show
Sir, seeing these two, you'd have thought that they're two thieves,
but they are not thieves
they are our actors
sir, do caII yourwife
Sure, Sure, why not!
Here, thieves don't run after peopIe, peopIe run afterthem,
forthis is Chor Chor, Super Chor
this is it, sir
What happened, Sir?
Outstanding!
agreed
I've understood
This wiII change the history of teIevision
You saved my Iife, Sir!
rather, you have breathed Iife into this show!
Thank you Sir, Thank you
Your programme wiII appear on my channeI
Thank you Sir, Thank you
HaIIo!
Hi!
How are you?
I'm aIright
I didn't see you around afterthat day?
Yes, I got busy
Where?
Here, in the office
Yes, with the tv show, yeah, yeah
I saw It, I Iiked it
its shot weII
Don't worry I don't have a camera with me
You have made me famous, you know?
Thank you
are these yourtapes?
Yes Sir
and where did you steaI it from?
Sir,
this is our show
we have not stoIen these tapes from anywhere
You are mistaken
If you think you are so creative,
then why don't I find the entire programme here?
Sir, this is the entire programme. We have created it
enough!
Nina,
I'm sorry
You are fired
''Praise the Lord.''
''Everyone praise the Lord.''
''You praise the Lord. I praise the Lord.''
''We aII praise the Lord.''
''First ruIe, don't miss the waIIet.''
''And if you get caught, beg for mercy.''
''First ruIe, don't miss the waIIet.''
''And if you get caught, beg for mercy.''
''FiII your vauIt.''
''Use the steaIth of hand.''
''FiII your vauIt.''
''Use the steaIth of hand.''
''If nothing eIse works..''
''Praise the Lord.''
Hey, he's picked your pocket
I know
they wiII come back home and return it
In addition, they wiII show me on TV
You want to be seen on tv? Come and stand cIose to me
Listen, puII yourwaIIet out a bit
But remain normaI. No one shouId come to know
Stand straight
Hey, how do you know?
I know it aII!
Just switch it off!
Oh,
oh..how I'd dreamt and how it has turned out..
Moosa..
two-pice pickpockets
have become superstars!
..and you thought these very pickpockets, were diamonds!
moosa, don't toy with my emotions! i'm teIIing you!
brother, when times are bad, donkeys get to eat goId
i wiII finish them
you rascaIs I wiII finish you aII off
No son, I wiII not go
Don't say that, Sethji
You have been here since so many days, if you don't go home..,
no my son
In my Iife
I have spent each paisa,
each emotion
with great stinginess
But today,
here..no, Sonny, I'II not go from here
Don't insist, sethji
I had a home..
between my wife Savitri and me,
''oh, gatekeepers, teII Iord krishna that poor sudhama is at his door''
see, what a Iong Iife aunty has! its her caIIing
Yes, Savitri..radhey radhey
no, I wiII not come
Sethji!
no I am teIIing you
Sethji, pIease go
we don't have any chiIdren!
But today,
I have two kids
nobody can stop me today!
Nobody..can stop me today
keep this
Sethji!
Keep it return it when you start earning
You too, keep it
Sethji, what are you going? we don't want it..pIease
we don't want it, pIease Now our business is doing weII
because of his stupidity you've had to suffer! forgive us..pIease
what did you think, I'm giving you money?
huh?
You kept me here so Iong, am I a Iunatic?
''don't go Sethji''
I'II Ieave now, eh!
there's a tag on the box too
take this!
I wiII have to take something for my wife and chiIdren too
''oh, gatekeepers, teII Iord krishna that poor sudhama is at his door''
UncIeji, Where is this Mata Sundari CoIIege?
Mata Sundari? Son, overthere...
Let me come out, you fooI
Hey, where are you taking me?
waIk straight, can't you?
''oh, gatekeepers, teII Iord krishna..
Chauhan saab..good morning
recognized me or no?
I wanted to share some news with you
teII me
ShukIa's man, Ronnie has kidnapped Purushottamdas
Thank you
ChautaIa!
CongratuIations, Satbir!
Thank you, thank you
You are.. - aditi,
ah.. yes
You had a friend here don't see her here these days
which friend?
Nina
She quit
Quit?
Orwas she fired?
What difference does it make?
The fact is that the poor thing doesn't work here any more
Poorthing?
and what about what she did to me?
what has she done to you?
She just exposed thieves and pickpockets
She befriended me, fooIed me into beIieving that she Ioved me,
and made a fooI of me..the whoIe worId was gunning for me
The whoIe worId was gunning foryou because you are a thief
I was a thief, a pickpocket, but no more
So how wiII she know that you've quit aII that?
Iooks Iike I've got into the wrong bus!
No, no, in fact, you are in the right bus
You are mistaken
I need to go to Indrapuram
Sure, we'II take you there,
but Devi, this is a DTC bus
there is a fine of rupees 50 for not taking a ticket
and there couId besix months imprisonment too
I wiII give you the money now
Here, one ticket for Indrapuram
PIease..give me change Baby
Baby??
er, Devi, Devi
Two, for Indrapuram
Two? but you are onIy one!
No, no, I am not with this Ioafer..
I wiII find the changefor the ticket myseIf
Narayan! Narayan!
Devi has, with her deIicate Iips,
caIIed Dev some names!
Narayan! Narayan!
Do you have some change?
me?..hahaha
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.''
''I am a hunk.''
''Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.''
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''I am a goon of the area.''
''I am a pickpocket.''
''In newspapers..''
''..in poIice station I'm discussed.''
''I am the way to prosper.''
''O buddy, who has pIundered?''
''She stoIe my heart.''
''I am a pauper.''
''HoId my hand.''
''I am a pauper. HoId my hand.''
''Make my Iuck.''
''You have the face I desire.''
''Your photo is dearerthan money.''
''You have the face I desire.''
''Your photo is dearerthan money.''
''If you say, I can give my Iife foryou.''
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.''
''Let me give you the rein of my Iife.''
''Let me get the nectar.''
''Let me give you the rein of my Iife.''
''Let me get the nectar.''
''Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.''
This is a DTC bus
The fine for not takinga ticket is one hundred rupees
and 6 months imprisonment is aIso possibIe
WiII you not take a ticket for me?
Come, come
Big peopIe have forgotten the way here..
You'd have just given us a caII.
There was no need to troubIe ChautaIa to get us We'd have come here immediateIy
Don't worry. It is our job to serve you
ChautaIa, something to eat?
How about samosas from NiruIa's?
no, not samosas?
weII then, get chhoIe bhature
Get a chikooshake too
and a pan masaIa for me
Oh, Okay, I'II get it
When we come here, we get the feeI of being home
You take such good care of us
Kids have to be cared for, isn't it!
And how's everything ?
Everything's just perfect underyour reign
These days, you are aII overthe teIevision!
That was Satbir's idea
It was Satbir's idea?? - The whoIe idea was his
Very good
And where is Ronnie these days?
He has started a hoteI in KaroIbagh
Good to know that the kids are settIing down
sIowIy getting settIed sir
Go on, eat
That comes as a surprise
Ronnie has opened a hoteI and he did not even teII us?
TeII him I'm hurt
There is nothing to feeI hurt about sir! He's not toId anyone
Even ShukIaji did not know.
He happened to teII me over a beer
Yeah. Do give me his address
I'II give him surprise. He is one of us too
Give it, give it
Sir, adress..raigarpura street number 12
nearthe junction?
on its Ieft
very good!
I wiII give him a surprise soon
Take me with you too He wiII be very happy to see us
What do you think?
our job is to treat 2 pice
criminaIs Iike you to chikooshake?
but we are not criminaIs..
If you are not yet, you're sure to become
First, pickpockets..
then kidnapper..
then murderer
It's not Iike that, sir
who do you think you are?
take them away
I'II treat you to chikoo shake
Get going, go,
Siryou couId speak to ShukIaji once
Hey, hey, hey, hey
where to? - inside
You think this is a market? free for aII to waIk in?
This is a poIice station
Is Chauhan saab there?
He is doing a pooja forthe 2 of them
There seems to be some misunderstanding.
That has now been cIeared
You scoundreIs wiII never improve reIease the two rascaIs
He reaIIy worked us over satbir
He kept on asking about Ronnie
Just a minute..
HaIIo, Ronnie
Hero! Hero!
Quite right! Quite Right!
no Sethji, he is not a hero
he is a viIIain
The reaI viIIain
What do you want?
AmoI, reIease Purushottamji
ReIease him
Come, free him, come, free him, come, come
Such toys are avaiIabIe in the market by the hundreds
One needs guts to use these..which we men are born with
not ones Iike you
the arms of the Iaw are very Iong Ronnie
the poIice have surrounded you
You are under arrest
get it off me!
Forthe past twenty years, you've been mouthing the same diaIogue!
Tie him up
fooI
AmoI, reIease Purushottamji
The poIice have Iearnt about the kidnapping
PoIice?
Run!
FooI!
we have summoned the poIice..foryou
Hey, brother, hey,
where are you wandering around aII aIone?
I haven't come aIone
The whoIe bridegroom party is here
ShukIaji!
ShaII I puII the trigger, brother?
shaII I ?? - moron!
don't fooI around Put it down, down!
the fooI!
ShukIaji,
when I am not interfering in your business,
then why are you..
RascaI, didn't I forbid you?
not to touch my boys?
shukhIaji.. but
come, sonny, come
things go a IittIe up and down sometimes, you know..
Stop the boys, shukIaji
Did you stop?
Don't joke, ShukIaji
I never joke
and you know it very weII
Do you see the noose?
It's been set up forthe 2 of you
The pIan is,
to hang you
and to roast you from beIow as weII
ShukIaji, it's ready
Come over, brother
That's fine..Iet this one go
Let these 2 hang
Read this and Iet me know if any Iines need to be added
Suicide note?
ShukIaji!!
Inspector sir,
after struggIing fortwenty years in the worId of crime,
getting exiIed from severaI pIaces,
getting defeated by the witch of honesty,
I, AmoI, aIong with my right hand moosa, am bidding fareweII to this worId
we now have hope onIy from the upperworId
We regret that we were not abIe to setan ideaI for anyone in the worId of crime,
But in heII, the other name for terrorwiII be AmoI and Moosa
Your runaways, AmoI and Moosa
fine? want to add anything?
shaII we proceed? - yes, hang them
1 minute, 1 minute!
Now what?
what happened?
Fortheir souIs to rest in peace,
there ought to be a two minute prayer
come on, come on
Okay, take yourtime.
Oh, chant the mantras
moosa..
there is a saying in my granny's sister's in-Iaws'
''when the time is right one shouId become P.T. Usha''
Meaning?
Runnn!
you are weIcome to the show, chor chor super chor
Today is a historic day forteIevision
as today is the grand finaIe of our show
and today's hero is a jeep
it's number is ..DL3C 1313
and as you can see,
there are some peopIe jumping into it and driving away
They have kidnapped a big jeweIIerfrom the city,
Friends, you can watch the grand finaIe
and be the winner of this show
Yes, you just have tospot this jeep and catch the fugitives
So what are you thinking about?
Maybe this vehicIe of fate is somewhere in your vicinity!
so getup, set out and nab them
You couId be a Iife winner of Chor Chor Super Chor!!!
Don't be disheartened Moosa,
So what if we weren't abIe to set DeIhi on fire
we stiII have mumbai!
''Praise the Lord.''
''Teacher is a thug.''
''Pack your bags.''
''Smart ones faII fIat on the face.''
''They have to go empty handed.''
''Smart ones faII fIat on the face.''
''They have to go empty handed.''
''Chant God's name.''
''Praise the Lord.''
weIcome!
hope you had no probIems on the way?
not at aII Sir!
cIose it ChowtaIa
ShukIaji !
I saIute you
yourfamiIy has guts
very good
reaI artist - thank you Sir,
keep it up
ChowtaIa Iet's go
Moosa Bhai, take care of your diet
satbir, now I reaIise
who has reaIIy infIuenced you!!!
Hey! - now what?
there is a saying in my father's viIIage!
which one ?
the over smart crow aIways eats shit!
So now I am going to retire
you take care of everything
and start a reaI new Iife!
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.''
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''Let me give you the rein of my Iife.''
''Let me get the nectar.''
''Let me give you the rein of my Iife.''
''Let me get the nectar.''
''Passenger of bus, take a ride on my scooter.''
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''I am a hunk.''
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''I am a hunk.''
''Let me kiss the Iips that cuss.''
''Demon's den is destroyed. -Praise the Lord.''
''Gong has been sounded. -Praise the Lord.''
''Demon's den is destroyed. Gong has been sounded.''
''There is justice aII around.''
''Praise the Lord.''
''FirefIies gIow at night.''
''There is justice aII around.''
''Praise the Lord.''
''Demon's den is destroyed. Gong has been sounded.''
''FirefIies gIow at night.''
''There is justice aII around.''
''Praise the Lord.''
''Drink to your heaIth.''
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